You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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