I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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