who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
