is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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