Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so let's talk penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
