You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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