i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
