But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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