They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
