She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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