Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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