Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Who died my cat blue again?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
