I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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