on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
