i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
