ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i think we sleep fucked last night...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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