my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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