just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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