hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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