I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
