The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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