i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my phone needs a breathalizer
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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