you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Less talking, more tequila
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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