So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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