I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You made out with two different species that night
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
