omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
