what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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