O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I love you. Go after that dick
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
