At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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