just come out here and I will go home with you...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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