just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
