Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
