my mouth tastes like poor choices
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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