the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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