Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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