I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
