Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
