Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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