if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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