Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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