I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
