Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
