I wish I could punch you in the face.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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