I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish you could order shots online.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
