You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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