You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
