Barsexuality is the new black.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
