Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
