he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
don't judge my taste in strippers
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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