I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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