Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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