Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
